What Will ‘They’ Say? Overcoming Fear in Midlife

Welcome to Midlife Musings – a collection of thoughts, reflections and inspiration for this chapter of life

Introduction - We've all been there

We’ve all been there: We get an idea, and then that little voice in our head whispers, “but what will ‘they’ say?”

I used to let my ‘they’s’ stop me all the time, and I’ll be honest: putting this website together brought that fear to the forefront.  I found myself thinking, “Everyone else's looks so professional . . What if they judge me? What if it’s not good enough?”

The voice of "They" - Why We Hold Back 

 But here’s the truth: Most of them aren’t noticing us at all. They’re busy in their own worlds, worrying about their own ‘they's.

Too often, we use our ‘they’s as an excuse to play small. It feels safer to blame imagined judgment than to take the leap ourselves. For me, there were moments I wanted to give up on the website entirely - the tech challenges, the self-doubt, the comparison, but I stepped forward anyway. This was me walking my own talk: showing up, even when it was uncomfortable.

The Perspective Shift That Changes Everything

Here’s what helped me: What if stepping forward, despite fear, could actually inspire others? When we realise that others aren’t constantly watching to judge us, it opens up space for action and growth. We can stop hiding and start creating, and finally do the things we've always wanted to.

So why not take a moment to notice one thing you’ve been holding back on. What would happen if you took that step today? And how many people you could inspire by doing it?

Even a small action creates momentum. One brave step forward can change everything